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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?